[雙語]10 Things Western Women Should Know About Dating Taiwanese Guys

This post originally appeared on Language Boat. 
中文版在下面.  [西方女孩與台灣男生交往需要知道的十件事情]

 

For many people, an inevitable part of moving to a new country for immersion language learning entails dating the locals.

If you are one of the relatively few western women living in Taiwan, and you fancy dating the local men, there are a few helpful things to know.

While it’s impossible to account for all the variation and differences among Taiwanese men, there are persistent cultural trends, attitudes, and expectations that are good to be aware of.

The list below is based on my observations, conversations, and personal experiences. This information is not in any way a definitive truth about all Taiwanese men.

Additionally, I’m referring specifically to men about 25 years or older. Teenage or college love and romance in Taiwan tends to follow a difference set of unwritten rules and expectations.

  1. Taiwanese guys are notoriously shy. This is partly due to cultural modesty, saving face, respect, and a culture of the gentlemanly treatment of women. Taiwanese guys will not show interest like American guys by hitting on you.
  2. Taiwanese guys generally take things slow. This is not always true, however, and some Taiwanese guys try to be more assertive and “Western” when dating Western women. This usually plays out in a clumsy, awkward move that is ill-timed and premature.
  3. Taiwanese men are typically attracted to charming, intelligent, and demure women. Cheeky, rebellious, or sexually flamboyant women are more likely favored by western men and not so much by their Taiwanese counterparts.
  4. It may be hard to tell if a Taiwanese guy wants to date you, or just be your friend. This may be because he is still determining that himself, or he doesn’t want you to feel pressured, or he wants to avoid losing face (and your friendship) if you outright reject him.
  5. If a Taiwanese guy is interested in you, he will text you frequently, give you small gifts, and invite you to spend time alone together. Additionally, he may offer to pay for activities and meals you share together.
  6. Taiwanese men may express their care and appreciation for you by giving you “helpful” advice. To some western women this may seem pushy, irritating, and overstepping. He may insist you buy a fan for your apartment to save money by running your air conditioner less. Or he may assert you should change cell phone carriers to get a better deal. He wants to feel like your hero, rescuing you and saving the day.
  7. Holding hands and kissing is a significant step in the relationship. If a Taiwanese guy holds your hand, he probably considers you his girlfriend. As one guy I know put it, “When I hold her hand, it means I am giving her my heart.”
  8. Taiwanese guys tend to, on average, have fewer girlfriends and sexual partners than their western counterparts. Taiwanese guys, in general, are more interested in a lasting, committed sexual relationship than notches on their bedposts, one night stands or causal sexual encounters.
  9. Taiwanese guys tend to view dating as a long term mate selection process. Most guys aren’t looking for a casual fling or seasonal romance. They are most likely thinking about your future together.
  10. Family is important to Taiwanese guys, and they will often consider the wishes of their parents when choosing a partner. This impacts who they date as well, since dating is frequently a road that leads to marriage.
Women in Taipei – have you experienced any of these things in the Taiwanese men you dated. Other defining characteristics that we missed? Share in the comments!

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西方女孩與台灣男生交往需要知道的十件事情

 

對許多人來說,到一個陌生的國家學習語言時,和當地人約會是一件很自然的事。
如果妳是少數住在台灣的西方女孩,想要和當地的男生約會,妳需要知道幾個對妳有幫助的重點。
雖然這裡無法列出所有台灣男生的差異與不同,但是妳值得去了解他們常有的傾向、態度和期待。即使這些敘述不代表所有的台灣男生,然而根據觀察、交談和個人經驗,我列出了下面幾點。
最後,這篇文章是敘述25歲以上的台灣男生,台灣青少年及大學生的感情常有無以名之的規則和期待。

1.台灣當地男生眾所皆知地害羞:這是受到中國文化的影響,一般男性大多謙虛、愛面子及對女生十分紳士,所以不會像西方人一樣大方地約妳。

2.有些台灣當地男生有點固執:當約外國女生出去時,會想展現出自己「洋派」的一面,但那通常只會讓他們看起來更加笨拙與不成熟。

3.相較於洋男喜歡叛逆、放蕩與性感,台灣當地男生通常喜歡迷人、聰明且矜持的女生。

4.台灣當地男生有時態度曖昧不明,不明確展現要跟妳當好友還是情人,可能是因為他們還在審視自己對妳的感覺,或是他們不想讓妳有壓力,亦或是他們怕被妳拒絕。

5.如果台灣當地男生對妳有好感,他們會用很多小手段來試探,像是送小禮物、邀妳單獨出去或是幫妳付帳。

6.如果台灣當地男生想要關心妳,會給予有用的建議,例如要妳買台電扇以減少冷氣的支出,或是換家電信公司以取得更多優惠,但這些舉動常會讓西方女生感到被冒犯或是被指使。

7.牽手或親吻就代表他認可妳是他的女友。

8.相較於洋男,台灣當地男生比較偏好穩定、持久與信賴的性關係,而不是一夜情那型的。

9.台灣當地男生把交往視為尋找終身伴侶的過程,而不是只是玩玩的。

10.家庭對台灣當地男生來說相當重要,他們可能會把父母對他另一半的期望納入考慮。

Feature Photo via Ralph Li & Alexander Chen.

ABOUT THE WRITER

Originally from California, Amy shares her enthusiasm for immersion language learning on her blog Language Boat. She learned Spanish while living in Mexico and is now learning Mandarin Chinese in Taiwan. Her background in psychology lends itself to her keen interest in culture, communication, social behavior and relationships. She is also an artist, student pilot, and teaches one-on-one English and American social skills classes. She plans to immerse herself in other cultures and languages after she becomes fluent in Mandarin. Next up on her list is Italy.

 

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